5 cents
Monthly Wrap-up Edition
August 2046

Catherine Peters , Trib Staff - Portland, Wednesday, August 1. Marquis John J. Murtaugh of Capistrano married Lisa Louise Pratt, daughter of industrialist Martin A. Pratt at a wedding at the Halls of Parliament. Present at the ceremony was the Baron's mother Kellie Murdaugh and younger brother Michael, Marshal Joseph K. Pratt, the bride's grandmother Marilyn Pratt, father Martin and mother Marissa, and her brother Ernest. Among the guests were Crown Princess Maureen, Prime Minister Lady Harbuck-Hornak, and movie mogul Leggy Mountbatten.

James Dougall, Trib Staff - Portland, Wednesday, August 1. The palace announced today that Crown Princess Maureen will take up command of the Palace Guard Brigade. She has been commanding the new submarine HMS Erebus. In a change of command ceremony in the Palace Courtyard this morning, she took officially took command of the unit. She has been promoted to brigadier general of Guards Armor. The crown princess follows her father in command of this, the premier ceremonial unit in the Royal Army.

Phil Bremner, Trib Staff - Okanogan, CAS, Wednesday, August 1. A prolonged drought in the Cascadia apple belt threatens to severely reduce this years' apple harvest. Farmers in this region depend on apples to provide their cash incomes. Agriculture Ministry officials predict that a weak apple crop will place many of the marginal apple producers in a poor financial position for the year, but say they can do nothing to aid the beleaguered farmers.

Catherine Peters, Trib Staff -Portland, NO, Wednesday, August 1. John J. Quirk II, great grandson of Robert F. Kennedy, wed Evangeline K. Bordelon-Hudson, daughter of Marquise Kristen Bordelon of Twenty-Nine Palms at the National Cathedral in Portland in a lavish ceremony today. Quirk's mother Courtney Elizabeth Kennedy and his step father Triano della Chiesi attended, as well as his sisters Duchess Kathleen von Jagow of Westfalia, Bretney Canney, Eunice Anderson, and Jonna Stern. The brides mother the marquise and father Joseph Hudson, MP, as well as aunt Evangeline Brown and her husband Marquis Jason Brown of Macon, attended. Lady Harbuck-Hornak and movie mogul Leggy Mountbatten were among the guests.

Phil Bremner, Trib Staff - Okanogan, CAS, Monday, July 6. Apple farmers, angered by government refusal to promise any aid for an expected crop failure this fall, have assembled a delegation of fifty to march on the capital city to present a petition to the king to demand relief. The leader of the delegation, Dale Martin, claims that when the king hears of his peoples' plight, Patrick will provide financial aid to the distressed farmers. When asked about the farmers' difficulties this morning, Prime Minister Duchess Julie Harbuck-Hornak said, "Who? Look, they are kidding themselves if they think we are going to give them a bail out. If they are so incompetent they lose their farms, let them move to the city and get a real job."

Evan Suarez, Trib Staff - Toulouse, France, Tuesday, August 7. Last night, an elite UKA special forces unit and Royal Marine units raided the Turkish Navy's base at Thessalonika. The UKA raiders captured and withdrew the Turkish Zama class heavy cruiser Sultan Selim Yavuz, a vessel damaged in the battle off Cape Athos two weeks ago. The vessel was extracted without incident. Losses among the raiders were minimal, though the Minister of External Security, Vice Admiral Booker T. Lincoln, suffered a minor gun shot wound to his leg.

Simultaneously with the landing, King Patrick personally led an air strike on a nearby Turkish airfield to suppress the Turkish Air Force units in the Thessalonika area.

The Palace announced that the war was started to prevent the Turks from becoming a new naval threat to the UKA.

Evan Suarez, Trib Staff - Toulouse, France, Tuesday, August 7. While protecting the carrier HMS Martinique for a large Turkish air raid, King Patrick Dolphin was shot down by a Turkish fighter. Government officials refuse to give details about the king's injuries. One government source did say that the king scored two more kills, both being modern Re2005 fighters, thus confirming his position as top UKA fighter ace.

Turkish torpedo planes with heavy fighter escort attempted to sink the carrier, but suffered heavily from fighters and flak. The Martinique was torpedoed, but suffered only minor damage. The carrier continues to operate its aircraft normally and can maintain full speed.

James Dougall , Trib Staff - Portland, Wednesday, August 8. Vice Admiral Richard Clay, former Executive Officer, Atlantic Fleet, demanded a Board of Inquiry over his firing on the 29th of June. Clay returned from South Africa three days ago, where he relinquished command of the task force that secured Socotra in the Red Sea last month. At the time of his firing, Chief of the Imperial General Staff Air Chief Marshal Michael Mossburger told reporters "He is just too far behind the times," Mossburger said. "We appreciate the fine service he has provided throughout his service, but in recent years, he just hasn't been aggressive enough to suit the needs of our time." Unofficial comments at the time suggested that King Patrick personally the removal of Clay because the admiral was simply too sluggish in carrying out his orders to invade Socotra.

Clay claims that the firing was politically motivated, his well known opposition to Prime Minister Julie Harbuck-Hornak's government being the root cause. "I know that my old friend the king would never relieve one of his oldest and most loyal supporters for being deliberate and responsible in his movements. Why lose a major part of the Royal Navy to the Mongols when a carefully thought out strategy could do the job with out risk. The success of the attack, using my plans, vindicates the wisdom of my command."

Evan Suarez, Trib Staff - Toulouse, France, Thursday, August 9. The king is reputed to be in a coma after being fished out of the Aegean Sea off Greece. His Seahawk fighter was shot down by Turkish warplanes. Anonymous sources at the headquarters of Army Group A in Toulouse report that the king is still in a coma from injuries suffered when he ditched. Currently, his majesty is in the sickbay of the carrier HMS Martinique. Royal Navy doctors feel that it is too dangerous to fly him off the ship. The queen flew to Europe from Portland yesterday an is en route to Greece.

Beltaine Yelder , Trib Staff - Portland, Saturday, August 11. UKA subjects celebrated King Patrick's fiftieth birthday kingdom-wide. Unfortunately for the king, he is recovering from injuries suffered when he was shot down by Turkish fighters off Greece four days ago. He remains onboard the carrier HMS Martinique.

In Portland, the king's birthday was celebrated in royal style with a military parade of all units in the capital, local school and military bands, and representatives from organizations as diverse as the Portland Gay Pride League and the Mormon Church. Crown Princess Maureen presided as Grand Marshal. Following the parade were numerous feasts, fireworks, balls, and parties. The largest party, thrown by the irrepressible Leggy Mountbatten in a sound stage at his studio attracted nearly ten thousand guests.

Beltaine Yelder , Trib Staff - Portland, Saturday, August 11. A mob of angry guardsmen attacked the Grand Theater in Portland and destroyed all the copies of the scurrilous movie King Sheep. The guardsmen, infuriated by the obscene portrayal of the royal family, felt that they had to uphold the royal honor. Crown Princess Maureen publicly reprimanded her soldiers afterward, but has take no other action. Director Eileen Branculi loudly denounced the action, claiming that it was"Goon squad censorship." Branculi claimed that she would pay to repairs to the theater personally, then sue the royal family to recover the damages. "The film WILL be shown," she said. "I will not stand for censorship of political humor by crypto-fascist thugs owned by the local tyrant."

Beltaine Yelder , Trib Staff - Portland, Sunday, August 12. Eight heavily armed bandits attacked the First Keaton Bank in an attack similar to one in Portland in June. The killers entered the bank at closing time yesterday and shot the three bank employees before carrying off an estimated $1,200.00 in cash. RCMP officials state that they are making the apprehension of these bandits their highest priority. The First Keaton Bank is offering a reward of $10,000 for information leading to the arrest and conviction of the murderers. Bank Vice-President Allen Rhodey announced a major increase in security in all branches and assures the public that they are their money are safe in the Keaton Bank's system. Despite this assurance, the bank's business has fallen sharply since the raid in June.

James Dougall , Trib Staff - Portland, Monday, August 13. Admiral of the Fleet George B. Derrick announced today a new, major expansion of the Royal Navy's MTB arm. Two new squadrons of boats, totaling twelve craft, will be constructed along with a tender. These vessels will be deployed at Socotra to protect that base from Mongol attack and to project naval power in the surrounding waters. Derrick stressed the vital nature of the base, located near the Horn of Africa and the importance of the island as a base for future attacks on the Mongols. The boats are expected to be built in Alaska and Monterrey. The tender will be converted from a merchant ship.

James Dougall, Trib Staff -Portland, Wednesday, August 15. Major General Geoffrey Waldon announced the retirement of six army general officers.

Lieutenant General John G. Thorssen, VC, age 60, earned his reputation as the commander who rallied the loyalist forces during the 2017 coup. He earned his VC for leading his brigade against the rebels in the bunker, when Admiral Luigi Wopp informed him that a rebel force had taken control of the kingdom's nerve center. General Thorssen was promoted to full General upon retirement. The general told this reporter that he plans to retire to his cabin in the Washington Cascades and spend the rest of his days trout fishing.

Lieutenant General Bruce Bacolas , age 64, an officer who first commanded a brigade at Reedsport in 2007 enjoyed a career that was distinguished by quiet competence. General Bacolas was promoted to full General upon retirement. General Bacolas announced that he has been offered a vice president's job at Keaton Steel. He will reside in Portland.

Major General Michael Moragon, age 39, retired under a cloud as he was relieved of command of the Guard Armored Division last spring after accusations of ordering atrocities against rioters in Joliet. King Patrick refused to award General Moragon another command, and it appears that General Moragon retired rather than face the humiliation of remaining on the unemployed list. General Moragon has been silent on his future plans, but friends say he will run for office as a member of the Democratic Party. General Moragon will not be eligible for a pension until age 60. He was promoted to Lieutenant General upon retirement.

Major General Marcus Welby Smith, age 62, has been the senior officer of the Army Medical Corps since Marshal Cromett founded that body in Alaska in 2006. Well liked by everyone, General Welby will truly be missed. General Welby plans to divide his time between teaching at the Royal Medical University and spending his time with his grandchildren. The general has been promoted to Lieutenant General upon retirement.

Major General Bruce Mayo, age 63, has been commander of the Army Personnel office since 2016. A meticulous worker, he is well respected by his peers. He tells this reporter that he is uncertain of his plans for the future. He was not eligible for promotion upon retirement.

Major General Jeffrey L. Carter, age 63, retired after a respectable, but not outstanding career. General Carter plans to start a business in Southern California "where it is warm." He was not eligible for promotion upon retirement.

Evan Suarez, Trib Staff - Toulouse, France, Thursday, August 16. A Turkish submarine wolfpack sank the Zama class cruiser Sultan Selim Yavuz off the Greek island of Andikithira shortly before noon today. A squadron of escorts commanded by Captain Lynette Elverum sank three Turkish submarines while attempted to protect the crippled prize of war. Despite a heroic attempt to save the ship failed, despite the best efforts of its acting commander, Captain John McConnell. Several escorts vessels were lost, though none belonged to the Royal Navy, including a Northern Italian destroyer and a Portuguese torpedo boat. Admiral John Upshur, commander of the Atlantic Fleet praised both Captain Mitchell and Captain Elverum and the sailors under their command for their heroism and professionalism.

James Dougall , Trib Staff - Portland, Monday, August 20. The Royal Navy announced the purchase of the 14,125 ton steamer Hawkmoth from the Keaton Steam Ship Line, for conversion to a motor torpedo boat tender. The vessel will undergo extensive conversion work in the Savannah Naval Shipyard before being commissioned, probably in December. The vessel will be designated ADM-1 Passage Canal in honor of the late Vice Admiral Charles Harbuck's vessel in the old Alaska League fleet.

James Dougall , Trib Staff - Portland, Tuesday, August 21. As commander of the Guards, Crown Princess Maureen ordered the court-martial of nine ring leaders in the riot in the Grand Theater over the showing of the controversial movie King Sheep. Rumors in the royal court suggest that the crown princess thought the movie was so offensive it deserved to be shut down, but that it was totally inappropriate for the Guard to take action without orders. Observers speculate that the crown princess will not take any significant action against the rioters.

Beltaine Yelder , Trib Staff - Portland, Wednesday, August 22. Communist party leader Patrick Cowart introduced a bill to disband the king's Guards today. Suggesting that they were nothing more than the king's personal thugs, Cowart demanded that they be eliminated to prevent what he called, "a return to the brutal dictatorship that goes back to the days when the Alaskan Imperialists subjugated the workers of Portland. If we want to maintain the liberties that we have fought for and won in the last few years, we must end the threat that these janissary goons pose to the people."

Her Grace the Duchess of Nicaragua laughed at the florid rhetoric. "We are not afraid of the mighty Communist Party. If anyone actually agreed with them, they would hold more than two seats in Parliament."

Beltaine Yelder , Trib Staff - Portland, Friday, August 24. King Patrick arrive in Portland today without any official fanfare. Aides say that he is almost entirely recovered from his injuries suffered in a plane crash earlier this month.

Beltaine Yelder , Trib Staff - Portland, Monday, August 27. A group of renegades in Royal Navy uniforms in a stolen M1X1 tank shot it out with Guard Panther tanks last night only blocks from the Palace. The rebels destroyed seven Guards Panthers before being killed themselves. Government officials are being very closed mouthed about the incident. Rumors suggest that the rebels successfully kidnaped the family of External Security Minister Booker T. Lincoln, though the RCMP refuses to confirm this.

As a diversion, the rebels burned the Royal Yacht, HMS Enterprise, which was dry docked in the navy yard at the time. The historic vessel, built for Duncan Keaton's circumnavigation of the world, was a total loss. At the Portland Air Force Base, a bomb destroyed King Patrick's personal Swallow I jet fighter.

Beltaine Yelder , Trib Staff - Portland, Monday, August 27. The Executive Council of the Democratic Council elected ex-General Michael Moragon their national chairmen. Moragon announced that he would vigorously pursue a number of core national issues favored by his party. Most important of these would be what he called in today's press conference, "the Final Solution of the Islamic problem." He suggested that the army be used to round up and deport all remaining Islamic Nationalists to Africa, and those that refused to go should be killed. Second, royal power must be curtailed. The king has been too irresponsible, and his heir is a positive menace. Third, Georgia's status as a province with full rights, including parliamentary representation must be restored.

Beltaine Yelder , Trib Staff - Portland, Tuesday, August 28. Dissatisfied by Internal Security Minister Duke Gerald Simes of Madrid's performance in recent weeks, King Patrick fired him this morning. It is believed that the tank battle two nights ago precipitated this incident.

Beltaine Yelder , Trib Staff - Portland, Wednesday, August 29. The ongoing political crisis in the military erupted into threats against the civilian population of Portland today, when rebels took over all the radio stations in the city and broadcast threats to drop poison gas on the city unless the king fires Minister of Security Booker T. Lincoln. The king has publicly refused to fire the minister. The population of the city is fleeing the city in an attempt to escape possible death from the sky.

Beltaine Yelder , Trib Staff - Portland, Wednesday, August 29. King Patrick, fling his Seahawk fighter engaged in a dogfight over the city in the only fighter left in town. He took on no less than six experimental jet fighter-bombers, shooting down one and damaging another. Two more rebel planes were shot down wile trying to bomb the bunker. The rebels scattered bombs around the city, killing a few people. The aircraft the king destroyed was shot down while trying to drop gas bombs on the crowd trying to flee over the I-5 bridge. Most of the gas bombs fell into the Columbia River, only one hit land, the resulting gas cloud killed thirty four civilians and one Mountie. Several hundred were injured by the gas.

Beltaine Yelder , Trib Staff - Portland, Thursday, August 30. After bombing the rebels at their airbase at Moses Lake, Cascadia, the king crashed on landing at the air force base in Portland, late in the afternoon yesterday. He suffered a broken leg. This is the second serious injury he has suffered in a plane crash this month. According to RAF spokesmen, the king is conscious and is taking personal control of the ongoing operations against the rebels.