5 cents
Monthly Wrap-up Edition
September 2046
(IRPI) Naggapattinum, Tamil Nadu. Saturday, September 1. Assassins killed Emperor Puviyarasu while he was on his way to a state function at his palace in the capital city of Naggapattinum. A trio of AK47 armed assassins riddled his carriage with several magazines at short range. The emperor, his aide, and a bodyguard died at the scene. Two of the assassins were killed on the spot by the emperor’s Sikh Guards. Another killer was captured after being severely wounded, and was reported to have died under questioning.
The Roman-born Empress Sylvia, who was riding in the carriage behind her husband’s, was uninjured. She was rushed to the palace, where she immediately ordered a round-up of suspected Mongol agents. Later in the day, the empress announced that, with the support of senior military officials, she would assume the regency until her 11-year-old son Mayuran came of age. The stability and future of the populous south Indian Empire seems assured, at least for now. The empress announced that the captured assassin confessed to being a Mongol operative, though eyewitnesses at the scene thought it would be highly unlikely he could have said much.
Puviyarasu took the Tamil throne in 2033 upon the death of his father, Suruli. He married his empress in 2031 after meeting her on a state visit to the Roman Empire. He was 53 when he died. Sixteen days of official morning, mandated by Tamil custom, begins tomorrow.
Angry crowds assembled before the palace demanding retaliation against those who plotted the assassination.
(SANA) Durban, South Africa. Saturday, September 1. In a mysterious attack last night, an unidentified enemy vessel laid a minefield off South Africa’s largest port and naval base last night. Taking advantage of the new moon, the ship of unknown nationality laid a minefield in the middle of the approach to the entrance to the harbor. SS Transvaal Explorer (2,942 tons), a cargo vessel of the South African Shipping Company GESASCO was the first ship to succumb. According to survivors, it struck a mine at 0030 hrs and lost all power. Its crew was unable to stop the flooding from the mine damage, and the vessel went down with a cargo of Chilean wheat at 0133 hrs, in the middle of the harbor’s approach channel. Despite attempts to signal the shore, there was no response from authorities, who seemed blissfully unaware of the peril facing their mariners.
SS Janet P. Sullivan, a Keaton Lines cargo ship, traversed the minefield without incident at 0300hrs, exiting the port with a load of Chromium ore for the port of Savannah in the UKA.
At 0545hrs, the incoming South African Star Line passenger ship Star of Durban (6,223 tons), carrying 543 passengers from Bahia, South Brazil wasn’t so lucky. She struck two mines and barely crept into Durban Harbor before the heroic efforts of her crew saved her. Twenty eight passengers were killed and one hundred thirty two injured.
At 0600hrs, the cargo ship SS President Adendorff (1,162 tons), hit a mine and sank immediately with its cargo of textiles from Port Elizabeth, South Africa.
At 0615, Port Captain Lyle Dodds ordered the port closed until further notice. The South African government has ordered a full alert for all harbor and coast defenses in that country and has promised a full investigation of the incident.
(RP) Portland, NO. Monday, September 3. The Admiralty issued the September flag officer's promotion list this morning at the National Command Center. All promotions were for officers assigned to the Atlantic Fleet and all were effective September 1.
Rear Admiral John Price to Vice Admiral, Executive Officer, Atlantic Fleet.
Commodore Bradley Johnson to Rear Admiral, Commanding TF 21.1
CaptainThomas Resnick to Commodore, Battle Line.
King Patrick issued a press release in praise of the abilities of the new officers this morning at the Palace in Portland, regretting that the officers were unable to attend a promotion ceremony as they were all on active service in Europe.
(RP) Cairo, IL. Monday, September 3. Without warning, an Islamic invasion force from the Southern Indiana Caliphate bridged the Wabash River near Hutsonville, Illinois Province, serving as the spearhead for an attack on the UKA's territories in the western Old Midwest. The border fort at Hutsonville was stormed by enemy armored troops and commandos and overrun. Colonel Thomas Powell and the Ist Battalion, 220th Utah National Guard Brigade are believed lost in action. First reports indicate that two battalions of predominantly Islamic border troops defected to the enemy at the commencement of the action. Later in the day, two squadrons of jets dive bombed the enemy pontoon bridges and damaged them severely. Several RAF jet bombers were shot down by heavy antiaircraft fire.
There have been no reports of any enemy offensive action on the Ohio front.
Marshal Stephen Jordan announced that the enemy attack will be repulsed and that "the sultan will regret this day of insolence."
By day's end, enemy recon units were some thirty miles inland, moving on the major communications center at Effingham.
Beltaine Yelder , Trib Staff - Monday, September 3. Washington National Guard troops overran the rebel controlled Moses Lake Air Force Base before sunrise this morning. The base, the home of the RAF Aircraft Experimental Test Center was badly damaged in the fighting. Most of the developmental aircraft on the field were destroyed deliberately by the rebel technicians. Lt. Gen. Gordon Couger, commander of the Washington Military District, directed the attack. This afternoon, in the ruins of one of the hangers destroyed in the fighting, Cougar announced that the insurrection by the Technos has been totally crushed. "At a time like this, with a ruthless and merciless enemy invading our soil, the attempt by a few foolish and traitorous fools to destroy our nation is nothing less than tragic. All rebels caught in arms have been executed as traitors."
(RP) Cairo, IL. Tuesday, September 4. During a long day's fighting, elements of the 10th Motorized Division fought a series of delaying actions against vastly superior enemy forces as they advanced on the vital railroad junction at Effingham, Illinois Province. Two significant encounters, in particular, bought needed time for the main body of the 10th to complete digging in.
In one fight, a small task force of the division's recon battalion, supported by RAF Seahawks contested a key bridge on the enemy's line of advance. An enemy heavy tank regiment attempted to force the bridge crossing and its lead half-dozen tanks were destroyed by a platoon of flamethrower-equipped engineers, blocking the bridge for many hours. The defenders inflicted heavy losses on the enemy before they were outflanked by an enemy commando brigade that crossed down stream. Most of the UKA task force escaped under an umbrella of fighter-bomber attacks by the RAF.
Early in the afternoon, the divisional antitank battalion and a company of Royal Canadian Mounted Police armored cars ambushed the lead enemy tank brigade and destroyed forty of them in a thirty minute fight, for the loss of only four 88mm antitank guns. By sunset, the enemy advanced guard was about ten kilometers from the outskirts of Effingham. UKA troops and engineers continue to dig defenses during the night.
(RP) Cairo, IL. Wednesday, September 5. A brigade of the 10th Motorized Division fought another screening action among the ruins of the old village of Teutopolis, repelling a large enemy cavalry division reinforced by tanks, in yet another bid to buy time for the completion of fortifications at Effingham. UKA troops were jubilant as the enemy withdrew several kilometers after the attack failed. "It's nice to see the bastard's backsides," PFC Elmo Mattox of Centralia, Washington, a veteran infantryman crowed. "They've had it all their own way for the last few days, but they're learning what's like to fight real troops, not a pack of National Guard garrison rabble!" When asked about how well the enemy fought, Mattox admitted that they fought bravely, if rather stupidly. "I hated watching their poor horses being hit by our mortars and artillery. Their men kept coming, and we kept shooting them down."
UKA forces included a company of the new Grizzly Bear assault guns. UKA officers were delighted with the heavily armored vehicles, armed with a 150mm howitzer. No Grizzlies were lost in the fight, though some infantrymen complained that they ran out of ammunition far too quickly.
The enemy outflanked the UKA defenders and forced them out of their position late in the afternoon, but the delay proved fatal for their hopes of rolling into an undefended Effingham. Confronted with antitank ditches, bunkers, and minefields, the Islamic troops halted to spend the night.
Alexandra Haze. Alexandria Egypt. Thursday, September 6. Diplomats at the peace conference in Alexandria, Egypt ended up in a shouting match after the Sultan of Adana's representative, Pasha Farouk al-Ghazi angrily rejected the proposal tendered by Vice Admiral B.T. Lincoln this morning. Shouts of "Infidel dog!" and "Fat-headed Turk!" filled the conference room at the Ministry of Justice building before aides separated both men. Talks were postponed until both parties received further instructions from their governments.
According to UKA diplomats, the Turks are making outrageous demands for reparations to compensate them for what they consider the treacherously stolen cruiser Selim Sultan Yavuz, the act that precipitated the current conflict. The current Turkish demand is for $1,250,000 UKA, in gold. King Patrick's offer of $250,000 UKA was declared "insulting" by Farouk. They also refuse to give up any territory captured from the Roman Empire in the recent offensive.
Both sides seem determine to negotiate, but neither wants to compromise. The Turks are well aware of the UKA's growing crisis in the Midwest and act like they are going to exploit it for all they can get. King Patrick cannot afford to lose face. It seems a perfect road to an impasse. It appears that this war is doomed to go on for now.
(RP) Cairo, IL. Thursday, September 6. An expected Islamic assault on the defenses at Effingham failed to materialize. Throughout the day, enemy units advanced and deployed out of engagement range. Attempts to outflank the defenses came to naught due to rough, wooded country and impassable rivers. Islamic forces continue to arrive in the area, but the only combat today came from desultory artillery barrages by both sides. Rumors at divisional headquarters that the XX Corps' reserve stocks of ammunition and supplies were almost non-existent, were dismissed by staffers.
(RP) Cairo, IL. Friday, September 7. The Islamic air force launched a daring suicide raid just after 2:00 a.m. this morning on UKA forces detraining at the Joliet Province town of Mattoon. Approximately thirty aircraft crashed into the area of the railroad yard, which was packed with personnel and equipment that had just arrived from the north. Eleven UKA soldiers were killed and fifty-seven wounded. Among the wounded was Field Marshal Stephen Jordan, commander of Army Group B, who suffered severe burns. Four armored vehicles were also badly damaged, along with several supply warehouses burned to the ground. Several hours were lost and train traffic was disrupted.
Marshal Jordan is expected to fully recover, though his convalescence could take as much as a year. He will be flown to Portland sometime tomorrow.
(RP) Cairo, IL. Friday, September 7. An Islamic armored and horse cavalry force attempted to outflank the 10th Motorized Division at Effingham, by turning north around the 10th's entrenchments. Elements of the 1st Armored Division under the personal control of Marshal Jordan detrained at Mattoon, and dug in around the small Joliet Province town. Despite the effects of an early morning air raid that resulting in the wounding of Marshal Jordan, the UKA task force repulsed a heavily reinforced enemy tank corps in a major battle today at the town of Mattoon in Joliet Province. Losses for both sides were heavy, though Islamic losses were extremely heavy. 131 disabled or destroyed enemy tanks were counted on the field after fighting ended. UKA losses included four tank destroyers and forty-four Columbia armored personnel carriers. UKA infantry losses were heavy, one officer claimed that they were in the thousands, but the vital railroad junction was held and rail communications with Cairo, Illinois remains open at this time.
(RP) Atlantic Fleet, At Sea in the Mediterranean. Friday, September 7. In a raid intended to show the consequnces of continued intransegence by the Sultanate of Adana to the recent UKA peace offer, the two remaining carriers of the Atlantic Fleet launched a savagely destructive raid against the enemy port of Izmir. Numerous merchant ships were sunk, some reports claiming as many as thirty, though an intelligence officer suggested that number was a bit exaggerated. The port's vital facilities were the main target, with the fuel tank farm left ablaze, the dockyards shattered, and supply warehouses reduced to rubble.
The UKA lost four aircraft to ground fire during the raid. Only one aviator was rescued. No enemy aircraft were sighted during the attack, though flak was described as "intense."
Royal Navy officers observed that further raids were likely if the Turks didn't agreed to reasonable terms soon.
(RP) Famagusta, Cyprus. Friday, September 7. King Demetrios announced a plans to double the size of the Royal Cypriot Army amid fears that the Sultanate of Adana would expand its war against the UKA by invading Commonwealth member Cyprus. "We will not allow the Turks to return to this Greek-speaking island. We will all die in the ruins of our homes first!" the king declared in a firey speech.
The king announced plans to acquire enough equipment to equip three more brigades of infantry, plus appropriate artillery units. "Give us the tools," he said, "And we will finish the job!" Reports in Portland could get no comment from the Foriegn Ministry about any military aid requests from Cyprus. Officers who asked not to be named, from the headquarters of the Imperial General Staff were unanimous that with the equipment losses from the Roman fiasco, the continuing fighting against the Turks, and now the war against the Southern Indiana Islamic Caliphate, that any large scale transferrence of war materiel to Cyprus was very unlikely. "If King Demetrios plans to expand his army," one of them said, "he will have to buy his gear from the Romans, or even the Japanese or Indonesians. It's not that we don't want to help, it's that we don't have anything to spare."
(RP) Paducah, KY. Saturday, September 8. The massed might of the Mississippi River Fleet flexed its muscles today, landing a brigade of the 16th Infantry Division to take the critical river fortress under the cover of its many gunboats. A weak garrison of Revolutionary Guards infantry and foress artillery troops put up a bitter battle along the levee and through the streets of the town. Hundreds of enemy soldiers were killed as gunboats and Grizzly Bear assault guns reduced numerous concrete pill boxes. In six hours of savage fighting, Mount Vernon, Indiana was secured.
(SANA) Durban, South Africa. Sunday, September 9. Two improvised minesweeping launches, the MSL Southern Ocean and the MSL Southern Venture were both destroyed in succession while attempting to sweep the approaches to Durban Harbor. UKA Naval observers suspect that inexperienced crews led to the mishaps. The harbor remains closed to all shipping while the South African Navy readies more minesweeping craft. Port Captain Lyle Dodds insisted that the harbor approaches would be cleared, no matter how long it took and how many craft were lost in the process.
Only three men from Southern Ocean and five from Southern Venture were rescued. The crews of the two launches were a mixture of South African Navy personnel and civilian volunteers.
(RP) Cairo, Illinois Province. Sunday, September 9. XX Corps, worried that the continued occupation of the north-south rail line by mutineers from the Cairo garrison would prevent supplies from reaching the front at Effingham, ordered loyal units from the garrison to reopen the line. In a sharp fight along a muddy stream south of Mound City, the IInd Battalion of the 129th Royal Iberian Grenadiers broke through the rebels to secure the city and drive the mutineers north. About forty casualties were suffered by each side during the engagement. Colonel Michael Lawing, commanding the Provisional Cairo Fortress Brigade told reporters he was well pleased to be well out of the swamps just north of Cairo. "The Spaniards of the 129th are old pros. Despite heavy losses in an initial ambush, they rallied, laid down a massive suppressing fire, then overran those damned mutineers. When it was clear we were across the stream, an entire battalion of the bastards bugged out and abandoned Mound City to us. We are going to be dogging them now."
(RP) National Command Center, Portland, NO. Sunday, September 9. Crown Princess Maureen Dolphin has been relieved of her command of the Palace Guard Armored Brigade and appointed as executive officer of the Guard Armored Division. According to a press release issued by the palace this morning, the transfer was at the request of her father, King Patrick. Shge has already departed for her new command.
(RP) Paducah, KY. Sunday, September 9. The 73rd "Olympic" Infantry Brigade, defending the newly captured southern Indiana city of Mount Vernon, was counter attacked, and virtually annihilated by large enemy force of infantry and armored vehicles in the worst defeat yet inflicted on the UKA since 2042!
Fighting first at the outskirts of the city, then street by street, losing hundreds, even thousands of men in fanatic waves of attackers. Massed gunfire from gunboats, dozens of air sorties, and desperate machinegun fire couldn't stop the attackers, supported by the gunfire of hundreds of tanks.
Wounded soldiers and stragglers fled through the day to the protection of the boats along theie water front. Several gunboats remained until enemy soldiers were throwing grenades at them before withdrawing from the shoreline. When it was clear that no more UKA soldiers were going to make it off the shore, Vice Admiral Charles Hinshaw, ordered the fleet to withdraw downriver to its forward base at Paducah, Kentucky. As well as nearly 2,000 soldiers, the Mississippi River Fleet lost an unidentified PGR type gunboat.
Vice Admiral Hinshaw vowed to open the Ohio River to UKA navigation from its mouth to its headwaters. "They may inflict losses on us. We will prevail! We've beaten them time and time again." When asked what his future plans were, Hinshaw refused to speculate openly as to his future course of action, but he assured this reporter, that the enemy would rue the day they found out.
(RP) Effingham, Illinois Province. Monday, September 10. Enemy infantry and armored units extended their lines over 9 kilometers to the north of Effingham, along the line of he old interstate highway I-57. UKA troops of the 10th Motorized Division blocked their movement, and both sides continue to dig in along the new lines. Other than artillery barrages, there has been little combat on the Effingham front for the last few days.
(RP) Cairo, Illinois Province. Monday, September 10. Two battalions of the 129th "Royal Iberian Grenadiers" renewed the offensive north to clear rail line between Cairo and Vandalia, Illinois Province in a surprise, pre-dawn assault. Four squadrons of RAF fighter-bombers struck the rebel positions in waves starting just after sunrise. The two battalions of attackers slogged their way forward slowly until the attack stalled about halfway through the enemy position. Our forces lost approximately 200 killed or wounded, while the enemy lost at least twice that. Colonel Michael Lawing reported that he expects heavy reinforcements for the renewal of the fight tomorrow.
(RP) Cairo, Illinois Province. Tuesday, September 11. Colonel Michael Lawing reported that the rebel force blocking the rail line between Cairo, Illinois and Visalia, Joliet has retreated and is heading north, apparently in an attempt to join a force that has crossed the lower Wabash near Carmi.
(RP) Camp Simes, Indiana Province. Tuesday, September 11. At the orders of the new executive officer of the Guards Armored Division, Crown Princess Maureen Dolphin, Brigadier General Patricia Detrick was relieved of her command after her Combat Command egregiously botched a complex attack plan during manuevers yesterday at Camp Simes. The crown princess, who previously commanded the Palace Guard Armored Brigade, relieved the general in front of her staff after confirming the decision with her superior, Major General Rachel Topper. Topper and the crown princess have refused all comment. Speaking anonymously, one of the division's operations staff claimed that General Detrick had been a thorn in General Topper's side since the latter took command of the Guard Armored Division last January. "Detrick has been doing her best to sabotage the major general's authority since the beginning. Now with the crown princess here, the time to get rid of Detrick has arrived. Good riddence to bad rubbish, we all say!"
Detrick spoke angrily to reporters after her dismissal. "This is part of an ongoing plot to remove all the old timer professional officers from the Guard and replace them with political amatuers. I expected nothing less from Toper. That bitch has had it in for me since she took command. But Pincess Maureen? Even the Dolphins are turning on their own! I'm resigning my commission. After Michael Moragon was ousted, it should have been clear that there was no place in the Guard for us. But all loyalty gets you is a kick in the teeth."
(SANA) Durban, South Africa. Monday, September 17. Two more improvised minesweeping launches, the MSL Southern Phoenix and the MSL Southern Glory were both destroyed in succession while again attempting to sweep the approaches to Durban Harbor. The harbor remains closed to all shipping while the South African Navy readies yet more minesweeping craft. Port Captain Lyle Dodds refused to talk to reporters after the sinkings, and was reported hauled home completely intoxicated later in the evening. Unlike the last attempt, the Southern Phoenix made two succesful passes through the mined area before being sunk on the third planned pass.
Twelve men from Southern Phoenix and eight from Southern Glory were rescued. The crews of the two launches were a mixture of South African Navy personnel and civilian volunteers. Ensign Mies Geller of the Southern Phoenix was rescued with only light injuries and was promoted to sublieutenant by order of President Adendorff. Geller volunteered to command the next craft to attempt the minefield, once it was readied.
Adendorff directed that four more launches be readied, and confirmed that a small squadron of South African warships would be permanently stationed in Durban, once they were recalled from Commonwealth service.
(SANA) Durban, South Africa. Tuesday, September 18. Vice Admiral John C. Price's new Indian Ocean Squadron arrived at Simonstown Naval Base, Cape Town, South Africa today to begin a permenant UKA and Commonwealth naval presence in the region as a response to the recent mining of Durban harbor. The squadron is expected to operate out of the South African naval base at Durban once it is cleared of mines. The squadron currently consists of the SOuth African Navy's light cruiser South Africa and destroyers Botha and Transvaal. It is unlikely that the new task force will be able to begin more aggressive patrols until Durban harbor is reopened.
(SANA) Hadibu, Socotra. Thursday, September 20. SM.79 bombers from the Adana Air Force raided Qiqib Naval Air Station. A bombing and strafing attack lasting nine minutes resulted in the loss of six Orca flying boats and the damaging of three others. All aircraft were part of No. 3 Squadron of the Fleet Air Arm. U.K.A. forces were stunned by the attack, being totally unaware that any enemy aircraft were stationed on the Arabian Peninsula in range of the island. No aircrew were lost in the attack, though one mechanic was killed, and nine wounded. The base completely lacks either fighter cover or anti-aircraft defenses.
Captain Caren Carney, commander of the Socotra Naval District, surveying the wreckage after the attack, ruefully observed, "We never would have guessed that the Mongols would have permitted the Turks to base high tech aircraft, or any aircraft, in their territory. Bastards!"
Brigadier General Marilyn Hickey promised to beef up defenses on the island.
The Nose Knows:
All the News that Smells Across Town
A new odor is wafting from the Bunker. Is it the queen incinerating unwanted politicians? No, it’s the odor of doggie doo-doo. Why are there a half-dozen truck loads of dog food delivered to that sinister building every morning? Why are aggressive dogs disappearing all over the Pacific Northwest? The Nose smells something nasty . . . and those whacky campers in Navy Technical Services are in it up to their pocket protectors. Don't be surprised if Michael Moragon ends up chewed to bits!
Speaking of the former Guards general, how about that Michael Moragon? Now that one really smells. A few months ago, the man was the chief goon of King Fish’s personal goon squad. Booted because he was so trigger happy, even the Fabulous Flying Fish couldn’t stomach his atrocities, he’s now the head of the king’s most virulent opposition, the Kennedy Democrats. The real question, who is the traitor here? Is Moragon betraying the Fish, or did the Fish set him up to take the Dems out from within? Both possibilities sound like knives in the back. If I was a member of the Democratic party faithful, all the gods forbid, I wouldn’t turn my back on the former Guards general. And if I was Moragon, I wouldn’t walk down a dark ally without a bodyguard just in case his former subordinates decide to take a whack at him. Expect his tenue to be short and end painfully and fatally.
Just in! The South Indiana Islamics have crossed the border. Now that’s a surprise. It appears that entire battalions of border troops are defecting to the enemy, too. What does this smell of: incompetence, perhaps? Marshal Jordan certainly should have been paying attention, but then, he was so new on the job he didn’t have time to undo all the ineptitude of Admiral “Blow My Brains Out” McDowell. Now Jordan is in the hospital and the whole Midwest is in turmoil. Big surprise when the Fabulous Flying Fish is in charge, though hardly in control.
The war against the Turks smells like stalemate, with an emphasis on the stale. We can bomb them, but we can’t invade them. And they can’t do much back. What is the point? We can continue to waste time, lives, and money, though. We seem to be good at that. The sultan seems to think that our breaking the last armistice and stealing one of his warships was a bit tacky. He's turned into a petulent schoolboy, and our Flying Fish is no better. Let's put them in the school yard to duke it out!
The Loopers, Part Two
- by Janice M. Billingsley, University of Portland Anthropologist
As mentioned in the previous installment, the Loopers provided a strongly puritanical and religious strain to the ruling class of the UKA. Many of the male adventurers who were the building blocks of Admiral R.E. Ffolkes' forces were single young men. Brought into contact with the many widows and daughters of the Loopers, atachments naturally follwed. At the same time, most of the Looper males were in awe of the future Admiral Harbuck who had led them to saety over Powerline Pass during the Russian conquest, and most of them ended up in the highly influential Navy Technical Services.
When the Alaska League conquered the DeHavenite Portland government and moved to that city, the Looper strain took root. The New Abbot Loop Christian Center and Gospel Temple of High Technology was built in 2009, and many important engineers and technicians were members from the start, though appearently Admiral Harbuck never joined the church, or even entered the facility. In fact, he is known to have stated that the old Abbott Loop group had, in fact all but enslaved him and that, while liked the individuals of the Looper community, he despised everything that the group stood for. The Neo-Looper ideology that derived from the early Loopers drives the current Techno movement that was described in an earlier article.
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